Time and time again, I think of my blog. My blog that was once my prized possession. My blog that I worked so hard to grow during my college years. I always wondered if I’d still be blogging when I’m old – until the day I’m on my death bed. As I got older, the idea of sharing my personal life became less appealing, but I still appreciate being able to look back at old posts and realize how much has changed. Here I am, trying to start my blog again after a year and a half of disappearing.

Saying Goodbye

This past month, I said goodbye to a life that I’ve known for almost 10 years. I’m often reminded how lucky I am to be surrounded by people who love me, but as I close this chapter, I can’t help wondering if I made the right choice.

My life in Arizona was as perfect as it could be – my family was nearby, my friends felt like my chosen family, I had my dream job at an advertising agency with supportive mentors, and the ideal schedule with my Pilates teaching. To give all of that away felt reckless. It felt like I had something really good but didn’t appreciate it enough, and I was throwing it all away in hopes of something more – even though I wasn’t sure if that “more” even existed.

A Desire for Change

If you told me a year ago that I’d be making this move, I wouldn’t have believed you. I first dreamed of moving to New York back in 2019. I was dating someone who had just moved from Arizona to New York, and the first time I visited him in the city, I was miserable. It was so cold and there was so much walking.

After the second visit, I started enjoying New York more and more. I began making my own friends in the city, with plans to move out here post-graduation. While my previous boyfriend and I ended up parting ways, I still had this desire to move after graduation. I was visiting the city every other month in 2019. Then the COVID pandemic happened, and I started a serious relationship at that time.

Long story short, that relationship didn’t work out, and the idea of moving to New York didn’t cross my mind again until earlier this year. My all-time favorite celebrity crush, Hugh Jackman, was performing at Radio City Music Hall. Being his number one fan, of course I had to see his opening night show. Being in the city for the first time in almost five years left me wondering if I should finally make the move.

When I came back to Arizona, life felt stagnant. Maybe it was the lack of desire for a relationship, or maybe I had hit a ceiling with my career. It felt like the only way to climb the corporate ladder was to wait for an opening. Either way, it seemed like all I was doing was waiting for an opportunity to present itself. As I reflect on where I was, I realized I wanted more. The idea of moving to New York sparked again.

Moving to New York City

I made the decision back in January 2025 to move to the city. I asked my job if remote work was possible, but with the time difference and the thought of being stuck in my room all day working odd hours, it wasn’t ideal. So I put in my notice, packed up the apartment I’d lived in for three years, said goodbye to my friends and family, and bought a one-way plane ticket to New York.

Leading up to the move, I was both scared and excited. Scared of the unknown because moving to one of the highest cost-of-living cities unemployed feels a bit daunting. Excited for the unknown because it’s the start of a new adventure!

While I don’t know exactly what I’m searching for, I do feel like moving here was the first step toward finding it. Here’s to a new chapter in my life!