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Arizona Lifestyle Blogger - Beauty, Lifestyle, and Travel.

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        Blogger Demi Bang talks about getting braces as an adult.

        Getting Braces as an Adult

        Arizona influencer Demi Bang shares the process of getting hand-tied weft hair extensions.

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        Arizona blogger Demi Bang eats pizza for National Pizza Day.

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Blogger Demi Bang talks about Friendships as an adult.

Friendships

11 November 2022 | Lifestyle, Personal

Friendships

11 November 2022

I have a friend who I consider family and know they would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. A friend who is so fun for nights when I’m feeling lonely and want to escape reality. A friend who I want to get to know more and grow a deeper friendship with.

I’ve always felt like I had trouble maintaining friends. Making friends isn’t hard for me but when it comes to having a continuous friendship, or friendships that last for years, is a bit harder. It’s hard for me to trust anyone or their intentions. Whether it’s me overanalyzing or overthinking, I always question if there’s an ulterior motive for why people are my friends.

If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.

American novelist S. E. Hinton
Blogger Demi Bang talks about Friendships as an adult.

Different Friends for Different Things

For me, I used to expect friends to be there for me like family. I also do expect myself to be there for my friends like family. Perhaps, there are people who don’t want that sort of responsibility. Some friends don’t want that commitment, but that isn’t a reflection of you and your friendship, but rather how much they’re willing to put out.

Some friends are better suited for you for emotional support. Other friends are better suited for you when it comes to going out and having fun. It’s hard to find friends who are going to meet your needs in all aspects of life.

I have a friend who calls me when they’re at their lowest, but when they’re feeling great, I don’t really hear from them. Some will take this as a selfish way and see it as being used, but others will feel touched that they’re the go-to during a time of need. It also begs the question of whether or not that person can be capable of being there for others. Some people can only handle so many emotions from others and live rather a more stoic lifestyle. Can you really get upset at someone who doesn’t have the emotional capacity to handle that?

Friends Are Like Relationships

Friendships, just like romantic relationships, require work. It requires honesty, vulnerability, and support. As I reflect back on all the years of different friendships, it makes me question why certain friendships didn’t end well. Why didn’t it end well and what could I do better?

Some would say I have bad judgment when it comes to friends (even worse judgment when it comes to romantic relationships, ha). I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes it reaches a point of no return.

I’m not saying all friendships that ended have been the other person’s fault, but a combination of both parties and build-ups throughout the friendship. Similar to a relationship, when build-ups aren’t addressed periodically, it can build resentment, and then towards the end, it’s unlikely that both parties will feel that it’s worth resolving.

Irons Sharpen Irons

A friend once asked me if I knew the quote, “Iron sharpens iron, steel sharpens steel”. I’ve never heard of the quote before and I asked which metal is better, ha. I looked into this and found that the quote doesn’t exist, but a similar one does by Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

The proverb can be interpreted as you are who you surround yourself with. Your friends are a good indicator of who you are as a person. The proverb can also be seen as you can’t be a better version of yourself without the help of others.

It’s hard to trust people sometimes, especially when you feel like people always disappoint you. I recently read that you shouldn’t focus on trusting friends, but you should focus on trusting yourself. Trust that you’ll be able to handle situations when it comes to being disappointed by people you love. I want to be a lot more open and receiving when it comes to others and hope that having this mindset will allow that.

Priorities in Life

As I get older, I’m reminded that everyone has different priorities in life and that’s out of your control. I used to always take everything close to my heart, and I still do occasionally, but I try to control what I can. It’s easier to close off friendships because of fear of getting hurt. I’m trying to tell myself that in order to experience great happiness, sometimes you have to experience great sadness.

I like to think that life is how you take it, and your perspective will indicate how happy you are.

Blogger Demi Bang talks about adult friendships.

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Comments

  1. Diana Elizabeth says

    1 December 2022 at 8:21 pm

    I love that you know that there are different friends for different parts of life, the going out, etc. That is so wise to realize! I never expect someone to be ALL the things I need because I have different people who fill different areas. To put that kind of pressure on every person is unrealistic. Some are more available, some are busy but will always respond and show up, and some show up in a crisis, and some don’t know what to say but they still care. Some are great gift givers, some are great thank you card writers and are generous. Some are not good at remembering birthday but they will get in their car and show up at your door when you are in dark hole. I say enjoy everyone for what they bring to the table, if it’s good, keep them, we all go through phases too, some we are closer to in different times than others, and some are constant. I think you have a great perspective so early on. I’ve also accepted that some people can be acquaintances and not everyone is a friend and that is OK! We can still love and enjoy the company and cheer acqutancts on, and friend chemistry is a real thing! So if it isn’t natural or feels like a fit, that’s ok too! 🙂 I really liked this post!

    Reply
  2. Huong Vo says

    15 November 2022 at 9:12 pm

    What a thoughtful article, Demi! You are right. Having different types of friends for different areas of your life is a good thing. Having a variety of friends totally helps. For example, it’s good to having blogging friends who understand what you as a blogger and it’s okay if some have no clue what you do. Heck, my three best friends are not bloggers nor are they influencers and I’m okay with that.

    The next to the last sentence you wrote is true. I experienced GREAT sadness when I lost two former best friends whom I thought were indeed my bffs. However, they just up and left with no explanation for their guys. What did I gain from that? One good best friend and we’re going on 14 years this December. It is sad when you experience sadness, but you do know what to look for when it comes to true good friends.

    When you have time, I hope you read an old article of mine: Three Signs: When to Let Go of a Friendship.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Demi Bang says

      16 November 2022 at 12:01 am

      Hi Huong! Thank you for reading. I used to disagree about having different types of friends for different areas in life, but now as I’m getting older, it makes more sense.

      Congrats on 14 years of friendship! That’s amazing and I hope I can also say that someday.

      Reply

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It’s my final day of 14 days of Valentine’s Da It’s my final day of 14 days of Valentine’s Day! 🥰
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I decided to recreate this old photo with my dad. Swipe to see the original photo from 20 years ago! 👨‍👧
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Doing the 14 days of Valentine’s Day was definitely challenging and every three days, I was scrambling to find new ideas and concepts to shoot. Some days, I would shoot 2-3 different concepts but end up not liking any of them.
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Would I do it again? Probably but not anytime soon! I think it’s time to get my brain a rest 🧠 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays, so maybe I’ll do something similar for Independence Day!
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#DemiBang
Day 13 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day ❤️ Tod Day 13 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day ❤️

Today’s post was inspired by @ashleyhxu 🥺 thank you for the jacket! My brother saw my jacket and his first response was, “who’s jacket is this? I know you didn’t get this for yourself!” Apparently I’m not young or cool enough to have a jacket like this 😩

For Valentine’s Day, we’ll be going out for karaoke! I love to sing and even though I’m not great, I like to tell myself that there will always be people better than you and people you’re better than, which is why you should just do your own thing.

Another thing I like to tell myself is that I might not be great at singing, but I am great at other things! Words of encouragement before I sing in front of random people. 🎶

Do you like to sing?
#DemiBang
Day 12 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day ❣️
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I wanted to try something new so I wore these red puffy sleeves 🥰 definitely not something I would gravitate towards but this top did feel fun!
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Are you a fan of puffy sleeves?
#DemiBang
Day 11 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🌹 ⠀⠀ Day 11 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🌹
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I’ve been wearing lash extensions for over 7+ years and decided it was time for a change! Took my extensions off, got a lash lift and slowly (but surely) trying to embrace more of my natural features.
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I felt a similar way when I was in high school. I had really long hair and decided it was time for a change - I used my hair as a security blanket and relied so much on it for confidence. I cut off almost 2 feet in length (22 inches)! A week later, my boyfriend at that time broke up with me and I blamed it on my haircut, ha! 💇🏻‍♀️
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Do you have a similar story?
#DemiBang
Day 10 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🌹 ⠀⠀ Day 10 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🌹
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Only 4 more days left in the 14 days of Valentine’s Day! This challenge has been so hard… coming up with 14 concepts, captions for each photos… I don’t think I’m a very creative person. I’m probably more analytical but I do want to be more creative, so participating in challenges like this makes me think and brainstorm more. 
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I love to create content. I love taking lifestyle photos. I love editing photos. I run into a creative rut more often than I’d like though! 
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Would you consider yourself a creative person?
#DemiBang
Day 9 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🍕 ⠀⠀ Day 9 of 14 days of Valentine’s Day 🍕 
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Today is National Pizza Day and my favorite pizza shop in the valley is @BellaGustoAZ! @Costco pizza are a close second because you can’t beat the price of a Costco pizza. 
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Other pizza places in the valley that I enjoy are @EatDoughBird and @PomoPizzeria. I’ve also heard great things about @LaGrandeOrange pizza but haven’t had a chance to try it (thanks for the recommendation @senor_foodie) - I do love their BLT and French Pancakes 🤤
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What are some of your favorite pizza places?
#DemiBang #LikelyNYC
Day 8 of 14 Days of Valentine’s Day 💕
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It's been a while since I've tried these sweethearts candies and it's still as hard as I remember it to be, ha! Not really edible but so cute to have and look at.
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One of my favorite candies is chocolate! I love a chocolate bar with almonds, so crunchy. I also love Snickers almond bar! 🍫
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What's your favorite candy?
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